


Farengar the Linguist

by iterations



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Dragonsreach, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Maids, Nerds having sex, Oral Sex, Sexual Dysfunction, Some Humor, Whiterun, Wizards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 20:12:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20880005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iterations/pseuds/iterations
Summary: You discover some of Farengar's secrets and interesting things start to happen.





	Farengar the Linguist

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Elder Scrolls/Skyrim, Bethesda does. I make no profit from this fan-fiction. It is just for my and your amusement.
> 
> English is not my native language so I hope you will enjoy this anyway, even though there is probably some grammatical errors and weird wording.

You had left your dull village and your dull lover to start a new life in the 'big city'. As you stood there, on the top of the stairs before the bridge to Dragonsreach, you felt in your heart that you made the right choice. Life is short and living in Skyrim, chances were your life would end sooner rather than later. Living in the same small village, spawning new rug rats every other year and have to spend your days with the same small minded, boring people as you've done so far, was not a choice really.

You crossed the bridge over the small moat and saw that your cousin Ellda already waited for you at the front gate of the fortress. 

“(Y/N), I'm so glad you finally decided to move to Whiterun” she said while giving you a hearty hug.

“Hi Ellda, yes, I can't believe I finally gave in to your persuasions, but here I am”, you said while releasing yourself from her embrace. (It was really good to see her again. She moved to Whiterun several years ago and you haven't seen her since.)

“Follow me. I'll show you our sleeping quarters and introduce you to mistress Gerda. She will give you your schedule. I think you have to start working right away. We lost so many maids lately the place is a mess”, Ellda laughed. 

“Not a problem” you answered, “I'm here to work and earn my place”.

Mistress Gerda was already waiting for you in the great hall. After your introductions she showed you the servants quarters. You would be sleeping in the same room as your cousin. There were guards patrolling the entire fortress and you said 'hi' to the ones you encountered. Sometimes they would comment on the political situation in Skyrim and someone even warned you not to pocket anything laying around. As if you were a lousy thief!

After showing you the whereabouts, mistress Gerda took you to the great hall again to introduce you to Jarl Balgruuf. There were some people talking to the Jarl and you stood there taking everything in as you waited for the Jarl to finish his business.

“Good day my lord”, Mistress Gerda spoke to the Jarl. “This is (Y/N), she is the new maid and will be cleaning the great hall and ground level quarters of Dragonsreach”.

You made a small curtsy and gave the Jarl a nervous smile as you looked him in the eyes.

“You are most welcome (Y/N), I trust mistress Gerda already has described our situation here with the maids?”

“Yes, my lord. I will have this place squeaky clean in no time, trust me”, you said, flaring away one of your gorgeous smiles.

“I have no doubt you will do an excellent work. Don't hesitate to come talk to me if you are in need of anything”, the Jarl said.

“I will, thank you”. You looked at mistress Gerda and she gave you a content nod and the two of you went to the room with all the cleaning supplies.

Mistress Gerda proceeded to give you your schedule. “On Morndas, Turdas and Loredas you will do the laundry. On Sundas, Tirdas and Middas you will clean the great hall and ground floors. Fredas is your day off”.

You nodded in consent.

“You will clean the common rooms as well as the residents private chambers. There you will replace the bedlinen once a week, or when asked. Clean bedlinen are stored on that shelf.” She pointed at a fully stocked shelf at the far end of the room.

“I should also warn you about the court wizard, Farengar Secter-Fire. He doesn't like to be interrupted in his studies and experiments, so you best be careful when cleaning his offices not to disturb him”. 

“Got it” you replied.

“Most of the time he doesn't want his bed chamber cleaned, but I hope you have enough backbone to insist on it occasionally or else I'm afraid he'll get ill from the filth and dust”, she continued with a troubled look on her face.

“I will certainly try my best”, you said. (I can handle a grumpy old mage you thought. Your great uncle Ralef could be a pan in the ass as well, but you handled it fine.)

Today was Middas so you collected a wash bucket, some cloths, a broom and a mop. You placed the cleaning items on the floor of the great hall and went to fill your bucket with water.

The cleaning went on well but they had been right about the floors being absolutely filthy. You had to replace the water in the bucket several times. By the time you were done with the hall your arms ached from all the carrying bucket loads of water.

You continued on to the adjoining room and saw a tall, lanky figure bent over a small table with vials and other chemical equipment. 

This must be the court wizard, you thought, and stopped wondering whether you should announce your presence or just continue cleaning around him.

Not wanting to 'disturb the grumpy wizard' you choose the latter and started sweeping behind his desk and on the floor keeping a radius around him to avoid confrontation. Soon you were done with the floor (except for a circle around the table where the wizard stood). There was a shelf with several pitchers on it, all dust covered and his desk seemed to be equally filthy.

You decided it was time to call for his attention, disturbing him or not, you haven't got all day.

“Ehrrm,” you coughed. 

There was no reaction so you closed the distance and tapped him on the shoulder.

A bad idea, it would turn out, because the sudden sensation caused him to twitch and spill a vial with some kind of fluid o the table. 

When he turned around you were surprised to see that this was indeed no grumpy old wizard, but a rather young grumpy wizard.

“What in oblivion do you think you are doing! It took me two days to brew this potion”. His eyes were shooting daggers at you.

“I am terribly sorry” you said, not knowing where to rest your eyes. I'm the new maid and I just tried to ask you if it was ok... If I could perhaps clean away some of the dust from your desk and shelves? I promise not to displace anything” you rambled.

Farengar took a deep breath and closed his eyes to calm himself down. “I suppose it is acceptable as long as you do not move or break anything”. “You look clumsy enough” he added after giving you a measuring look.

Before you could give him a sly reply he had turned around and continued to measure up different fluids in another vial.

Clumsy my ass, you thought, and took one of your cloths and started to wipe the dust from the shelf. You took extra care not to break anything, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of being correct about your level of dexterity. 

Unfortunately the Daedras weren't on your side today and as you started to wipe the desk, a pink, drop shaped gem was knocked of it, taking a tumble to the floor. A 'clang' and a 'crash' was heard as the thing bounced off the floor and shattered into small pieces.

Uncle Ralef's sweaty armpits, why in the name of Talos did that have to happen? You looked at Farengar's robe clad figure as he turned to face you and give you what you deserved.

“Did I not ask that you not move or break anything”, he snarled, looking at you with his brows furrowed.

“I was being careful”, you replied. “Maybe next time you won't let someone this clumsy touch your stuff, huh?”. You knew it was childish to blame him of your mistake and you regretted saying so the moment the words left your lips. You felt the heat of a blush creeping onto your face.

Farengar gave you a quizzical look and after a while he just said, “It does not matter, that soul gem was cracked to begin with. I have no use for it.”

“Oh, good”, you said. “But for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I should have been more careful.”

“Be more careful next time”, Farengar replied curtly.

You swept the shattered pieces off the floor and continued to wipe his desk. You noticed that Farengar was watching you all the time. I guess I have my clumsiness to blame for that, you thought for yourself. 

When everything was cleaned you turned to the wizard and asked him, “Do you wish for me to clean your bed camber?”

“No, some other day perhaps. I do not have the time to watch you break everything I own”, he said.

You couldn't blame him for thinking so. You bid him good day and picked your equipment to change the wash water once again before you went on to clean the kitchen.

**Turdas**

The next day was 'laundry day'. That meant washing everything from bedlinen you collected yesterday to the residents of Dragonsreach private clothes. You weren't looking forward to the task. Not only because you had to clean peoples stained breeches but mostly because you knew it was hard work and you had to do it the entire day. 

The laundry place you found was a flat piece of rock protruding from the middle of the stream that gushed out from the palisade. There were some stairs running down to the moat near the main entrance which would have been a better spot, but there was a skeleton floating in the water so you decided to use this more difficult spot instead. 

At least there were no human remains in the stream coming from the mountain. You had to stand on the ledge and flick the soaked laundry against the rock until it was clean. The pile of dirty clothes seemed to never shrink and at the end of the day your hands were red and gnarled from the cold water and constant handling of cloth. But tomorrow was Fredas so 'Yay'.

**Fredas**

Ellda was also free and you two 'did Whiterun'. You went to the temple and then the market. You ate the food you bought as a picnic at Jorrvaskr, while both of you watched the companions spar. After that you went to Arcadia's Cauldron and bought a lavender scented soap and checked out her plentiful potions. She detailed about all their benefits and you could understand this was the place to be if you were an adventurer. The evening was spent at the Bannered Mare where you enjoyed a nice stew and listened to the bard until it was time to go home. To your new home.

**Tirdas several weeks later**

The days came and went. You were starting to feel at home and comfortable with your tasks.

Today was not a laundry day, bless Talos, and also the day when you decided that you would persuade Farengar to allow you clean his bed chamber. You had promised mistress Gerda to persevere and today you would not take no for an answer!

Farengar tried to persuade you that it wasn't necessary and that you could do it next week, but you insisted that it must be done today. In fact, it was several weeks due. 

Finally he conceded and let you into his bed chamber. “I do not have time to check on you so I hope you will be careful and not make a mess in there”, he said, remembering the first day you came here.

“You know I'm careful now. It was just that one time, and nothing bad has happened since then, right? You need to trust me”. You smiled at him and he nodded at you. Then he returned to his research at the desk.

His bed chamber was small. The only furniture in there was a narrow bed and a small dresser. You changed the bedlinen and started to dust the dresser. You were surprised not to see any books in there, because you had drawn the conclusion that Farengar was a bit of a slob, but the books were of course all in his study. There he had a small desk and several shelves filled with books. You yourself were barely literate and had a hard time conceiving that someone had read all those books. He must be a fast reader you muttered.

When all surfaces were wiped and clean you started on the floor. 

You pushed the broom under his bed and caught a pile of rubbish. A sock, a paper roll and some books. Aha, there is the slob I know, you thought while you scraped them into the open. You wiped the items and started to arrange them on the desk. You weren't surprised one of the books was about dragons. 'Dragon Language: Myth no Moore', was the title. Farengar often spoke about his reverence towards dragons and seemed to be genuinely interested in them. One book was titled 'Cunnilingus' and he had several bookmarks between the pages. You knew he was interested in languages from the books you saw on the shelf in his study, so you peeked inside the book. There were illustrations in it and you could hardly believe your eyes when you saw a picture of... what was that... female genitalia? There were underlined passages and more pictures of the female anatomy with arrows and symbols. You were just about to put the book back under the bed when it fell from your hands, causing a blunt 'thud' against the floor. 

Frostbite spider-guts! Why do I have to be so clumsy, you think for yourself before you see Farengar in the doorway wondering what you were up to. You try to push the book back under his bed with your foot and when he recognizes the book his face turns as white as you are sure yours is red.

“I... I didn't mean to pry, I was just cleaning under the bed” you stuttered, feeling your face heat up.

Farengar looked like you had walked in on him naked with his cock in his hand. He had never been this embarrassed in his life.

“That is just an old book an acquaintance of mine from Winterhold sent me years ago”. He told you after regaining control of his speech. “I had forgot it was there actually... I only read it for scholarly purposes. It is very technical.” He dug his left hand inside his hood, scratching the back of his neck.

“I see, so this isn't something you practice regularly? Here I was afraid I've missed some important rumors about you? You aren't lurking around pleasuring the women of the hold then? The initial chock of being in this situation had finally wore off and now you were thinking it would be fun to tease him about it.

“Alas, there has not been any women in my life since I received that book. No one I could.. should we say... experiment on...” His words trailing.

“Why not pay a prostitute then if you are curious?” you asked.

“I thought you saw what the book was about?”, he replied, “I am not sure I want to put my mouth there on a prostitute...”

“I see your point” you said, wondering why you were trying to advise him on this, you weren't exactly expert in these areas... Granted you were no virgin but you had never understood what the big deal with sex was. Everyone was talking about such mind blowing experiences but you never experienced more than 'nice' feelings.

Farengar had a hard time understanding why you haven't yet run out of the room screaming and telling everyone what a creep he is. He sat down on the bed looking excruciated, burying his face in his hands.

You felt sorry for him. Seeing him like this was chocking to you. You never considered he could be this vulnerable. What if the tables had been turned, you thought. You would have jumped off the upper porch if someone had found out... At least left the hold...

You sat on the bed next to him. Put your hand on his shoulder and whispered “Hey, Farengar.. There's nothing to be ashamed about. It is perfectly normal to be interested in those things... I would be more surprised if you weren't actually.”

He removed his hands from his face and looked at you. His eves were reddened but at least he had kept himself from weeping. “It does not matter. I will never be able to study this anyway. Please do not tell anyone about this.” His eyes pleading. 

“Of course not. I would never want you to loose face”, you replied and gave his shoulder a squeeze to emphasize that you actually meant it.

“Thank you” he sighed after a moments silence, putting his hand on top of yours. His hand was warm and you sensed he was a bit calmer now, trusting you. It felt good.

“Anyway, if you wanted to practice those things, I'm sure you wouldn't have any problem finding a lover if you set your mind to it”, you said encouragingly.

“I am not good at maintaining relationships..”, he confessed. “It always end when they want more than I can give, I do not have time for dinners, long romantic walks and birthdays”, he added.

“That's tough, not even birthdays..”, you mumbled in reply.

“So you see why it can never happen”, he said with a quiver. “Decent women want nothing to do with me, and I do not want anything to do with loose women.”

“That's a hard nut to crack for sure”, you said. Maybe you could ask a friend?

Farengar seemed to give it a thought. After pondering what you said he turned to you asking, “What about you? Would you consider yourself a friend of mine?”

“Of course I am”, you said, before you realized the trap you just walked into. Of course you liked him a lot and considered him a friend. But you were friends with lots of people. What was he asking? Was he asking anything at all? 

Farengar stayed silent for once looking inventively at his hands.

“What? Cat got your tongue?”, you asked, with a smile playing at the corner of your mouth.

Farengar finally looked into your eyes and his eyes gleamed of decisiveness. “Do you promise not to be angry if I ask you something?”

You were on your guard, because you had a pretty good idea what he was about to ask you about and it was not in the least way proper, not anything one could fathom a friend would ask another friend about.

“Sure”, you said.

“So... I guess you would not be interested in helping me experiment on some of the things in the book?” His neck and cheeks flushing red.

“Of course I would help you”, you just heard yourself say. By Sanguine, your brain said not in a million years but your lips still said yes...

“Excellent”, Farengar beamed like a torchbug. “When are you free to engage in the experiment?”

“I guess Fredas would be fine. I have no other plans” you said with a big lump in your throat. Why in oblivion had you agreed to this. You don't even enjoy sex.. Spider-guts!

“I will need a few drinks before doing this tough”, you warned. 

“The book says that the subject should not be under the influence of alcohol or skooma for the best outcome”, he said with a serious voice.

Spider-guts indeed you thought. How will this end, not even getting a drink to brace myself with...

**Turdas**

You were done with today's batch of laundry and about to crawl into bed. Ellda was also getting ready for sleep. She was removing her dress when you felt you had to ask her, “Ellda, can I ask you something about Farengar Secret-Fire?”

“Sure”, Ellda said while dropping the dress on a chair next to the bed.

“Farengar isn't some kind of womanizer is he?”

Ellda gave you a look of disbelief and then she collapsed on her bed holding her hands over her stomach, toppling over with laughter.

“I just love your sarcasm”, she squeaked, still holding her stomach. Has he done anything splendid? Please, please tell me what that oaf did”, she pleaded.

“Nothing really, just being Farengar I guess” you said, regretting you'd ever asked her. Of course Farengar wasn't a womanizer. Why would you even be afraid of that...

**Fredas**

If you were going to give this a chance you thought you should at least be clean and presentable. So you went to the womens steam room to clean yourself. You even used some of that nice soap you bought from Arcadia's.

After scrubbing your entire body, taking extra attention to your nether parts, you decided to go see if Farengar was ready. No need to wait the entire day, agonizing about why you agreed to this. Just get it done with you thought.

Farengar wasn't at his office desk so you knocked on his bed chamber door. Moments later the door opened and the wizard bid you to come in. He closed the door behind you. “Are you comfortable with me locking the door?”, he asked. “That would be a good idea” you answered. The though of someone walking in on you made you a bit queasy.

Farengar gestured you to sit on his bed while he gathered a paper roll, quill pen, ink and the book. 

“Are you going to take notes during?” you asked surprised. “I hope you at least make me anonymous”.

“I will just refer to you as subject x”, he replied. “I will take notes if I have the opportunity and whenever there is time for it”.

“So, what now?” you asked a bit scared.

“Just lay on the bed” Farengar said with a soft voice. You lay yourself on his bed, looking up to the ceiling.

“The book says that the subject should be warmed up before the exercises can begin”, Farengar told you, a little to chirpy.

“And how do you propose I should do that”, you said. He could hear in your voice that you were tense and no where near 'warmed up'.

“We could begin with kissing?”, he suggested.

“Fine”, you replied.

Farengar pulled his hood back, revealing his entire face. He had dark, kind of longish hair that was tied together with a strap behind his neck. You liked what you saw, except for maybe his sideburns. They were a bit over the top. He crawled up beside you, bracing himself on his right arm, while he moved his face close to yours. Sniffing.

“Are you smelling my breath for alcohol?”, you asked him a bit insulted.

“I had to check”, Farengar said, a bit embarrassed of his incredulity.

The kiss was soft and sweet, not at all awkward as you had feared. “You still want to go through with this?”, he asked softly, looking into your eyes. You replied by kissing him again, opening your lips slightly to meet his tongue. After a few of those exploratory kisses, the kiss deepened and you felt his tongue deeper inside your mouth, stroking your tongue and enticing you to stroke back. His hands are now moving to your face, caressing your cheek and to the back of your head, tangling in your hair. 

Breathy kisses rained down on your neck, to your collarbone and up again to your lips. You feel your own breath quicken and this feels better than you dared to imagine. He stroked your chest, cupping your left breast over the dress while kissing you. You broke the kiss to ask him, “Should I remove my dress?” 

“That will not be necessary, unless you feel you need it to proceed”, he replied. “You are the subject of this experiment. It does not benefit of me becoming more aroused”, he breathed.

The wizard returned to your lips and soon you felt his hand moving and starting to hitch up your dress. When he grazed your thigh you couldn't help yourself but to squeeze your legs shut. You didn't want him to feel your arousal yet. Not wanting him to stop kissing your mouth and be bereft of this intimacy you feel towards him. 

“Are you sure this is what you want? You can leave whenever. I will not be angry”, he asked again when he felt your legs tense.

“I's fine, still a bit nervous I guess” you replied. 

“You are not a virgin are you?” He backed away from you a bit to study your expression.

“No that's not it”, you told him. He could see you were holding back something. You sighed and decided to come clean. 

“It's just that I've never really enjoyed having sex. Not even on my own, you know... pleasuring myself... At best it just felt nice but I've never climaxed. So I don't think I will be a good subject in your experiment... I'm sorry” You felt so bad springing this on him now. Wondering if he was going to throw you out.

“I did not realize..” he began. “Apologies... It feels as if I have pressured you into this...” He backed away even more and sat himself on the side of the bed.

“No, I'm a grown woman. I can make my own decisions”, you said shaking your head slightly.

“Would you like to try anyway?”, he asked. “The fellow that wrote the book has tested the techniques on hundreds of women. Surely there must be something in there that is to your liking?”

You considered what he said for a few seconds before deciding to give it a shot. You had nothing to loose. “Let's do this”, you whispered.

Farengar leaned on top of you again and gave you another kiss. “You smell so nice” he murmured, while trailing kisses over your neck, chest and dress, crinkling your dress upwards again. “May I verify if you are sufficiently warmed up?” he asked. 

After given an affirmative nod from you he opened your thighs, tracing his fingers through your pubic hair down between your folds. As his fingers stroked the softness of your sex and dipped into your saturated crevice your breath hitched. He tested and teased you. Then he removed his hand from your warmth and observed whilst flexing the threads of your fluid stuck between his thumb and index finger.

“According to the manual you are ready now”, he beamed at you, and made a note with his right hand on a parchment he kept at the end of the bed.

By Sanguine's balls, what is he doing, you wondered, lifting your neck to see what Farengar was up to. He was browsing through the book, looking at bookmarked pages.

“I thought you'd be more prepared than this”, you couldn't keep the disappointment from your voice.

“Just a moment”, “I need to freshen up on my notes” he brushed you away with his hand. 

“Now I am ready”, he turned to you. "We will begin with what the author calls 'Argonian Ticks'”.

He spread your legs as far as you could go and lowered his head down to your opening. He spread your labial lips a bit with his left hand and took a stroke at your slit with his tongue, grazing your clit as he went upwards. He paused to swallow and savor your taste and then he began to flick his tongue on your clit. His tongue going in and out of his mouth like a lizard's. His ministrations felt pretty good and he was definitely hitting some nerves when his tongue flickered in and out of his mouth like that. You tried to relax and go with the flow. 

After a few minutes of this he paused to ask your opinion. “How would you grade that on a scale from one to ten?”, he asked. 

“I suppose maybe a...five?” You weren't sure how far your scale went exactly, so better start with a neutral grade.

“I see...” Farengar scribbled down some notes. “Next one is called 'the Dwemer Driller'”. He let his tongue hammer on your clit a couple of seconds, pausing to stick his tongue inside your crevice as far in as he could. He then went back to your clit and repeated this several times. “How was that?” he asked after a couple of minutes. 

“I suppose it was a ...3” you said. 

“Hmm, I see”. He scribbled down his notes. 

Farengar continued to test other methods on you. 'the Aldmeri Assault', 'Swirl And Twist', 'Dragons Alphabet' (his own favorite) and 'the Salt Merchant'.

Over an hour had past and you felt sorry for Farengar, worrying a bit about how long he could keep this up. You were starting to feel sore as well.

“How many more techniques are there in this book?”, you asked him, cursing the libido of the man who wrote it.

“Just a few more I am afraid” Farengar answered. The next one is called 'the Hook and the Pendulum'.

This new technique entailed Farengar stabbing you in the cunt with his index finger, 'hooking' it on the way out to tap on the upper wall of your canal while flickering his tongue side to side over your clit.

You could not relax any more than you'd done for the last quarter of an hour or so. To oblivion with that you thought and focused on the feeling of his tongue against your bundle of nerves. 

You spread your legs even more and pushed your lower body upwards to meet Farengar's tongue. Soon you started to feel a tingle that you had never felt before. It was peaceful at first but as you focused more into it, it took over your entire being. This is how it's suppose to feel was your last coherent thought, as the bliss took over. You felt rapture and it was only him and his tongue and finger. Farengar tried to pull back to ask you of a rating but you pressed his face back down to your sex. He obliged and continued to relentlessly stroking and licking you. You arched upwards toward him one final time to increase the pressure he was putting on you as you climaxed for the very first time in your life under him. 

When you finally came down and took back control of your erratic breath, Farengar looked at you and asked quietly “Was that it? Was that a 10?” 

“Bless Talos, it was a 10, 12, 100...” you smiled at him and pulled him up into an embrace. He was stirring and you knew he wanted to record his findings right away, but you wouldn't let him.

You could see his cock pitching a generous tent under his robes. A large stain of pre-cum on the front. “Now it's your turn, lay down”, you said with a husky voice.

Farengar blinked and you could see the indecisiveness in his eyes.

“Some other time love”, he breathed. “I really have to finish my notes before I forget all my findings.”

He stood up and collected his notes. He then moved to the door, unlocked it, and left you alone in his bed chamber.

You straightened your dress and walked out of the room, closing the door behind you. No one saw you leave his bed chamber, thank Talos.

You peeked into Farengar's study, finding him scribbling and writing cross references, not even noticing you standing there in the doorway watching him. You left him there and went to see what Ellda was up to.

**Loredas**

You took a break from the laundry and went to check on Farengar. You wanted to see if he was done with his documentation and perhaps ask if he wanted to have supper with you, in his chambers.

As you walked through the hall you saw the Jarl talk with a stranger in adventure gear. Just as you had said 'good day' to Farengar and thanked him for your last meeting, the stranger came up beside you and nodded at Farengar.

“Come to Dragonshreach to dishcuss the ongoing hoshtilities, like the resht of the 'great warriors'?”, Farengar's voice took on a condescending tone. After all, he didn't like to be disturbed.

You had to bite the insides of your cheeks not to laugh at the wizard. The poor man must be really sore in his tongue to acquire such a lisp.


End file.
